Here we go again.

I have had a few requests for a blog update since it appears I simply lost interest and quit 21/2 years ago!  I dont know why other than maybe I found my life less noteworthy or just lost my mojo.

I would like to share my dream that I sincerely felt I was going to accomplish until our house sold. I volunteered at the La Quinta Art Festival and had the privilege of spending a day with one of the judges. In our get acquainted chat she asked to see my work and of course out came my phone. She told me I should apply for the festival and I replied I am not good enough. She assured me I am and gave me hints on how to get accepted. Turns out she is one of the judges that chooses who is in and not. I walked around on cloud nine repeating 'I am good enough'!! My goal was to start my inventory and begin applying for next year. I looked up what licenses I need and canopy prices etc. I really felt I could do this and was so excited. Here are a few of my latest pieces...

I have decided it will have to wait until I am settled with a proper workspace and able to create an inventory. I want nothing more than to make this my lifetime goal and make it happen. I am in my happiest place when I am creating. The best part of this new year is I decided to only make pieces I want to keep and so far they have all sold. The quality of my art is present when I aim to please only me rather than hoping something sells.

So here it is the other big news...almost exactly 5 years from when we bought this house in La Quinta we have sold it. I feel sad about it only because I was so sure this would be our forever home. We both still really love our floor plan, yard, and location for sure. We just cannot take another day of living so close to annoying rude neighbors, speeding cars in front of our house and the social cliques. I am not bitter just ready to move on and be in a less negative environment. The past 5 years have changed me as a person and I am still not comfortable with the new me. I have had so many people I thought would always be in my life decide I was disposable, or feel a need to hurt me. I am finding it so difficult to get my heart to engage with people now as if I am expecting to be disappointed. I have been told in the past I wear my heart on my sleeve and I was comfortable with it. Now my heart is under lock and key and the apathy seeps into my outlook on life. Maybe our next journey will show me the way to care and take a chance on people again. I hope so.

That being said...we are busy packing, selling and tossing as we close in 3 weeks. I worry we are behind schedule but we have always accomplished the vacate on time in the past. I feel like we are a woven tapestry and as we pack we are slowly unraveling our life together. I seem to not care about the sentimental bits and pieces as much and able to throw away or donate things I could not live without before.  I find the most difficult part is seeing all the treasures of raising three boys no longer have a place. None of them want anything we have saved and yet to us they represent the amazing life we had together. I was just packing a box with photo albums and came across a photo of me holding Timothy in my arms tightly. He might have been 8 yrs old and you could see the calmness and feeling of being loved in his face. It occurred to me I would give everything I own to have boys to love and hug again. That feeling of belonging to a family and being loved is all that matters in life.

While we have made several moves with no house lined up to move into, this one feels even more disconnected. We have talked endlessly about getting an RV and traveling until we do not want to anymore. I have so many places I would like to see and revisit some I loved the first time. An RV would make traveling with our pets a cinch and so freeing to go do things while they rest in our home on wheels.  Somehow tho its such a difficult and frightening purchase to make and I cant help wonder if we ever will. Maybe the window of adventurous freedom has already begun to close on us and we are living in this grey area of undecided. Maybe we are unraveling as a family and dont share the same dreams of our future together. So much unknown and so many wanting answers I do not possess. I am anxious for clarity and the next journey to begin. Its been a long time coming.
I truly need to get back to work but will keep you updated on our progress and plans. Thanks for checking in one more time!

Two years ago today.

While most of you know this story I felt the anniversary was worthy of mentioning. Today marks 2 yrs since Jerry contracted West Nile which in turn triggered meningoencephalitis. Yes its as bad as its spelled. I had left him at Mayo trying to learn to walk again to go pack up all our things and pets. We had been on vacation there for 6 weeks and our car was full. Friends in the cities were going to drive the whole package to Calif. for us ~bless them. I was going to return to Mayo to wait for Jerry to get well enough to fly home. I had not slept in days and I was so overwhelmed with my outofcontrol life I couldn't stop crying on the drive. I felt like Buster and Grace were my last bits of normal and I hated to let them go. As I was driving this amazing sunrise began over a vast Minnesota corn field. I was so taken back by the beauty I felt this wave of calm come over me. I felt God was showing me that even today was beautiful and a reason to be joyful. That this life lesson would pass and we would once again be whole. I could be strong enough for the both of us and find our way home.

So here we are two years later and while things are sailing along smoothly so to speak we will never be the same. All people have life changing events occur and it just matters how you respond to them. We have a new normal and maybe a need to live life faster just in case. Our road trip to MT made me realize how much we enjoy being on an adventure together. I hope seeing the country at a slow pace becomes our new normal as well.

A bit of news is that Rande will be moving to LA this week to begin a somewhat new job. He has been living with us on and off for about six months.  While it was longer than any of us anticipated it seemed to work. I was just telling J I felt badly because he doesnt have any friends here to do stuff with. We have become set in our ways and routines as most 'old people' do and truly are not much fun for him. Of course we do have endless wine and beer so he found a way to make it thru. It hasnt helped that its been over a hot summer where no one has much fun. Every time I felt upset he didnt put something away or left a mess I would remember there would be a day we would wish with all our hearts he would visit us.  We are excited he is moving fwd in his career and still getting to tour which he loves. 
Our other big news is Ky will be transferring to MSP on Oct. 1st! He has made it 6 months in NY and just realizes its not for him. I am not sure if living in Brooklyn is what has made getting to the 3 different airports more difficult. Yet it was one of the few rentals he could afford on a brand new FA salary. No matter what he tried it and now he is off to Minneapolis with one airport, good public transportation and a sense of returning home. As much as I was looking fwd to visiting him in NY I was dreading trying to get to his place from the airport. MSP is one of my favorite cities and now I have such a good reason to visit more often!

I have been looking for a new quilt for our guest room. I am so tired of sewing up the holes and yet I cant seem to find one I like. At my age you kind of think this might be the last so make it right. I also have an issue with buying something I am capable of making. Yet bed quilts are my least favorite thing to do as I get so bored with the repetition. I finally broke down this week and started cutting and piecing. I have told my self to shoot for a table runner and then you can quit. I think I am almost up to a baby quilt...A queen is one heck of a lot of blocks so we will see where I end up.

I think its going to be really pretty and cheerful but I am also envisioning me worrying if guests are getting it dirty. Most of my guests tend to be my boys and they wont care if I run in and fold it down while they are asleep!! Right?!?

I have one more photo to share and then its back to the 'office' for me. 

While on vacation we brought both girls kennels to use in hotels and our rental. We feel they are more relaxed not worrying where we are and with Jetta no chance of puppy mischief. What we didnt know is just how much Gracie wants to upgrade to the BIG kennel. We had to pull her out every time we left and as you can see Jetta will do anything to be liked! Too bad only her front legs fit! I just love how much laughter and joy pets can bring into your life.
Thanks for dropping by~

Our great summer adventure Aug 9~28 2014

I have been referring to our summer trip as our adventure because the word simply implies it will be great. So far it has been. We spent the first night in St George, Utah so that we could drive thru Zion Natl Park the next morning. We were a bit apprehensive about traveling with Jetta since being her owner is similar to having a child in their terrible twos. She has done well and seems perfectly happy to simply be included in the great adventure. We find the greatest hurdle is getting her to go to the bathroom in less than 20 min. At hotels and gas stations walking around endlessly is definitely a lesson in patience. Not one of our strong suits but working on it.
The drive thru Zion was simply breathtaking and we wished we had more time there. Perhaps a camping destination in the future... It was difficult to capture the real beauty on a camera but I tried. Note to self...don't come on a Sunday during Aug. It was swarmed with tourists and difficult to avoid on the roads. Just another reminder how truly beautiful the landscapes of America are.

Gracie doesnt want to miss a thing on the roadtrip!

We continued on to Park City for the night which we first visited together 34 yrs ago. They had wooden sidewalks and it was just a little old mining town with a wonderful ski resort thrown in. Now it's big and artsy with a style all its own. I had the impression the quirkier you are the more you blend. We sat at a rooftop restaurant and it was a beautiful mountain evening with the Tour of Utah ride tearing down. The next morning was complete when a hot air balloon landed in the hotel parking lot!

"Are we there yet? Where the heck is Montana?!?"

We chose to drive off the main freeway to enjoy the sights of small towns and less traffic. One thing we noticed over and over were towns barely surviving. Houses and businesses forgotten... closed and boarded up. I can't help wondering what were their stories and what was it like back when.

It felt sad to see and reminded us of J's hometown in MN once a thriving place and now fighting to stay alive. What determines if a town is worthy of survival or simply one people give up on and move away? It's not a new trend by all means. During the depression, the dust bowl, etc  people were forced to pack up and start over leaving the town to die. I love seeing the old log cabins in fields long abandoned and wonder who lived there?  I feel like I was born in the wrong generation because those small towns have my heart and I feel out of place and overwhelmed in big cities.

Our next stop was Idaho Falls, Idaho with a room across from the river~wow was it beautiful. The force of the water was so loud you could barely hear anything else walking along it.

This was one of my favorites because it seems like the girls are finally able to be friends...a bit.

We drove onto Montana and thru the cowboy town of Ennis to arrive in Four Corners about 10 min outside of Bozeman.
Our VRBO house was great nestled in the middle of a farm field with gorgeous views of the mtns. We tried to do as much as possible in the two weeks and we loved Bozeman. People were so friendly everywhere we went and there was always something going on. Here is the rest of our adventure in photos just to give you an idea of our visit.

The view from our house of Bridger Mtns. I could have sat here forever...

Hiking Hylite Canyon

We bought a book on Bozeman hikes and they could not have been prettier~ Wish we had the time for more.

Trying a little fly fishing

I tried but no one was biting! The girls loved wading out into the creek...

 We took a day to tour the Lewis and Clark Caverns which were amazing. Two ranchers discovered these in a mtn and its a whole new world underground. We actually needed sweatshirts as we continued down into the cavern.

Such a good hiker dog! I did have to 'help' get that stick home tho...

 More hiking with the girls...such a fun way to spend the day and the dogs loved the freedom.

Hiking Bridger Bowl

Hiking in the deep stuff!

 We drove down to Cameron one day to take the trail ride to No Man Falls with CB Ranch. Absolutely beautiful scenery and a great ride. I could not believe how sore my butt was after 4 hrs in a saddle! Ouch!

Montana traffic jam

Old 1890 Pine Butte School across the street from our rental.

Mtn sheep along roadside

 On our way north we drove past Hill AF base and we could see lots of old airplanes sitting out. J didnt want to turn around so we made sure our route home included a stop in Logan. This museum was amazing and it was so awesome to see a whole hangar devoted to the Vietnam War. We have not come across a F111 before so this was well worth the stop. We would like to take longer next time to really see everything.

Jerry's ride in Vietnam F111 Hill Air Force Museum

Looks pretty darn fast right?!

...and we are home.

It was truly a great adventure and we met lots of lovely people along the way. Montana is not only beautiful but a wonderful place to soothe your soul in nature. We both cannot wait to return and hopefully for much longer next time. I could have added so many more photos it felt like all I did was say "Oh my, this is so beautiful!" Thanks for taking a look at our getaway and I hope your summers were spectacular as well. Thanks for dropping by.