Goodbye June

I had a personal request for an update mentioning it has been two weeks since the last one. It feels like I just wrote it and I am left wondering where did June go? We drove over to Fallbrook the middle of June to break up the summertime heat. We stayed with an old friend and it was a good visit. Jerry got to play with their train stuff and Grace and I got to enjoy the 70 something degree weather. On Thurs we went to the SD fair with Timothy and Jammie, something none of us had done in quite a while. It was a beautiful day and its always fun to spend the day with them. I would have to say my favorite thing we saw was the woodworking exhibit. Beautiful furniture and art made by these wonderfully patient craftsmen. The pieces reminded me of some of our antiques that have so much more fine detail and superior workmanship than anything we can purchase today.
This is my other favorite part of the day...a photo of us and especially Timothy being silly. Check out the plant behind us! It was crazy big and beautiful and I cant remember what Jammie called it for the life of me!!

The other cool thing was while we were walking thru the sewing/quilt exhibit I could hear singing. I knew Martina McBride was the headliner for that night. I decided to open a door to the sound and it went into the stands for the concerts...and there she was! She is just adorable and tiny and was in the middle of doing her sound check to the show. Great fun for free!

Last weekend we did the Sunnylands tour in Rancho Mirage with some of our neighbors. This is a 200 acre estate built by the Walter Annenbergs and now run by their family. They were extremely wealthy philantropists that built Sunnylands for their winter home in the 60s complete with a golf course and ponds stocked with trout. Their guests included presidents, royalty, dignitaries and movie stars. It was an amazing home tour and I loved how willingly the Annenbergs shared their fortune with so many.  It was also a beautiful not too hot day and we both really enjoyed the tour.
( please don't notice I am wearing the same shirt again!)

Something I have talked about doing forever is driving up to Pasadena for the day and checking out my roots. You know a Kunta Kinte kind of thing. So I asked my mom and of course she was willing to go anywhere cooler. We drove by old family houses and then went into old downtown Pasadena for lunch.
First stop was Glendora where I lived from 2-5 yrs and the house still looked about the same. Really darling tree lined old fashion downtown with diagonal parking. Only bad thing I saw was getting on the freeways to go anywhere...AGH!

Second drive by was Monrovia where we lived when I was born until 2 yrs...2 bdrm 1 ba and 3 small kids... After they sold it a freeway went in across the street. Yikes!

We then drove by my grandparents, great grandparents, great aunt and uncle's and my parents homes from the 40s..  It was cool to see none of them had been torn down, but instead fixed up. The neighborhood was old craftsman style with big porches to sit and cool off in the evenings.

I also loved that each house of ours still had the brick planters my dad made. I started thinking of all the homes we have had in the past 33 yrs and only one has completely removed all signs of us...Lake Carlos house. Not bad considering how often we have moved! Its comforting to see part of you remains behind to show the world you lived here long after the moving trucks have pulled away.

Isn't it darling?!?

I am happy to say I was one of the chosen La Quinta residents to participate in their fall art exhibit.

There will be an artist reception on Oct 10 and our work is exhibited until Jan. The director was hoping for a desert theme from the artists but said very few submitted any. So of course I am now her favorite because my big ol Kokopelli piece will go to the show!  Sure I'd be happy to show you it again!

We have had some record setting June temps going on this week. Everyone is a bit nervous this is a sign of what our summer is going to offer up. Dont even mention it being a dry heat because it has been hot and humid and feeling like Mississippi! This was my phone yesterday...crazy huh?!

Seriously its not that bad if you only leave the house to float in the pool....Gracie and I both got short haircuts so we can swim all day maintenance free! If I let this heat make me miserable I will want to move away and we have run out of places to go!

This week we have Ky busing over from PHX...still no big job so good time to visit us. Rande is getting dropped off by his band at Timothy's for 2 days before flying to Europe with a different band.  Throw in the 4th and you have a darn good reason to have a family party! PLUS we get out of the heat and back to ocean breezes! Yea! Happy 4th of July!!

I will end with an update on my last post about 'is this all there is'. I have had lots of interesting conversations with friends and most have at some point shared these same feelings.  I have decided maybe we dont have to have such big dreams and goals anymore. Maybe just being the best version of you is enough. Volunteer to make a difference but it doesnt have to be about saving the world or curing cancer. Little things can be big too. Random acts of kindness to others and constantly striving to be a better you. Keep learning new things and trying to be the change we all want to see. 

My friend that was recently told she has about 6 months to live said she wished she didnt know. How does she live well if she only hears the clock ticking? My brother said if he was given the same diagnosis he couldn't think of anything he would do differently. That to me is someone doing it right...if there is no bucket list there are no regrets and each day is well spent. Choose the life you want whether is be simple or grand and live it well. 

God bless America~

Thanks for dropping by.

The 20s versus the 60s

I have been vicariously living thru the frustrations of my three sons trying to figure out their twenties. One (24 yrs old) just moved to Phoenix and is desperately looking for work and finding out its all about knowing someone. The job market is not that great for young people like it was in the 70s. I admit I am a worrier and after 3 weeks of looking in the summer heat w/o a car, I felt his pain. He just read that your twenties should not be wasted with a just get by job but how do your get a career job if no ones ever gives you a chance?  More importantly how do you pay your bills and college loans while searching for that perfect job?
My other son ( 26 yrs) was here yesterday and discussed his frustration with trying to figure out his future while maintaining his desire to do something he likes. He is the most smart, capable person I know but can't see himself doing a job he hates simply for the security and money. The jobs he does see himself doing dont pay well and refuse to open a door to give him a chance. So what is the compromise? I know for a fact that just get by jobs leave you poor and living paycheck to paycheck. You need money to have adventures its a fact and those adventures are what you remember with joy in your 60s.
My 28 yr old son just moved everything into storage and is on the road with a band. Great fun and adventure but what about when its over and the band goes home? Where does he go and what kind of future is it to never know what you are doing next let alone no place to come home to?  Its almost  impossible to even have a relationship with this lifestyle let alone financial security.
I remember the 20s well and they were not my favorite times. There is a lot of pressure to start a career and meet the person you want to share your life with. My friends were all getting married and having babies and I was still on my own. I was never anything but struggling and dirt poor my entire 20s yet working my butt off at my dream job. I finally did find someone to love and marry but we were still top ramen poor ~just not alone.
My question is however are the 60s frustrations really that different from the 20s?
J has been retired for 9 yrs now and really has no desire to work at something else. He has lots of hobbies and seems to always be busy....yet is this all there is? Keeping busy and repeating a daily routine until you die?
I basically retired from my 'dream' job 25 yrs ago and my full time  mom/volunteer job 6 yrs ago.
I also stay busy but feel overwhelmed sometimes with the lack of purpose or dreams.  I enjoy my fabric art but how many pieces can I make and what do I do with stacks of  useless quilts? I cant seem to make a living with them so while its enjoyable in the creating process then what? More stuff for our boys to deal with later?!
We bought our house almost 2 yrs ago and while I love it I also feel trapped by it. Maybe its from having careers traveling and always on the go. Plus after spending 30 yrs of creating a home and life together now we feel we need to tear it apart. Everyone says its time to downsize and get rid of the possessions you thought were treasures. We definitely have accumulated LOTS!  Our boys dont want our 'things' to clutter their lives... I have this sadness inside of is this all there is to my life? When you are young you always have dreams of what you would like to do next. I no longer have those dreams and I don't have the money to pursue them if I did. The advice I get is to get a job or volunteer.  I feel like my middle son that if there was something I wanted to work at or volunteer at I would try. One of the last jobs I had I was really good at and loved working part time there. The thing is the more I tried to please the owner the meaner she became. I think she hated that customers liked me and tried to humiliate me to make herself feel good. It would be difficult to embrace another situation like that. Nothing has caught my attention yet but who knows maybe in the fall after my show I can go in a different direction. My biggest fear is if I get a job or volunteer position then my time no longer is my own and I lose my freedom.
See what I mean about the frustrations of being in your 20s vs being in your 60s? No easy solutions and a whole lot of effort to figure out ones future. The boys are wondering where the path to happiness is and I am wondering if my path has come to an end and this is all there is for me. Maybe I just have the summertime blues and a wonderful new adventure is just around the corner. That would be great for sure.
Thanks for dropping by...

another day of killing time...

I have been in the worse slump for over 2 weeks and for no apparent reason. I wake up early thinking this will be the day I return to the old me. I have been lethargic, lazy, moody, depressed, napping and simply killing time. It kills me to fix dinner and I dont even want the usual 5 o'clock glass of wine. What the heck has happened to me?! I have to force myself to sew and it never fails I take my phone and ipad with me and off I wander. Any suggestions on how to break the slump that dont involve money or drugs?!  Geez I even went shoe shopping and came home with nothing. I must be dying and don't know it.

Have you ever noticed when you read a dark intense book it overpowers you? I have been dreaming about the characters and get lost in their sad events. I am reading one of those books after just finishing one and it may be part of my slump. Maybe its time for a happy ever after story and see if it helps.

I spoke (emailed) Isenhower winery today and they have artist receptions Sun ~Thurs.  We were originally scheduled to arrive in Seattle on a Sunday before noon but Alaska just sent us a msg that our flt had been changed. So now we are there when the tasting room is not even open...waaah! So I called Alaska and asked if they could move our flt up a day due to the change without charging us. She was delighted to! Yea Alaska!
So J and I are all happy that everything is coming together and the winery says YEA to having a reception on Sept. 1st! Not even 20 minutes go by and my mom calls to say she misread her reservation and wont be arriving home from Tahiti until the afternoon of the 1st. This is of significance because she is our pet sitter and Gracie and Buster were going to grandma's while we are gone. So while the high of everything coming together is over I just need to hire someone to come be with the babe girl. She would howl and cry all night long if left home so guess I better get busy. Its always something right?! Here she is practicing her sad "why do you want to leave me?" look. Dont you love Big Fat Greek Wedding because the dad keeps saying that when he isn't spraying windex on everything?!

As much as I hate facebook and its constant struggle to know too much its kind of crazy how people from your past come knocking on your friendship box. I think about getting off of it all the time but I have a handful of friends that would only be names I use to know if I did. Its kind of fun to see friends' kids grown up and how we are all passing time. I have yet to post photos of how I have been passing the past few weeks. I would definitely deserve to be defriended if I did.  Maybe today is the day I snap out of it. Wish me luck.
Thanks for dropping by.

Ok here is my afternoon update...
J-man came into my sewing room with his side kick Buster to tell me something. They laid down and were both fast asleep within minutes. See! Its not just me!
I finally finished piece number 11 for the show. I have made 4 of these because I think they are pretty darn cute but I gave away two and sent one to Tahiti. It will look adorable in our aqua bathroom after the show so I made one more. However by the fourth one I am bored and having to make myself work. No more. The good news is I have completed one more piece for the show and not taken a single nap!

HOT TOWN, SUMMER IN THE CITY...BACK OF MY NECK GETTING DIRTY AND GRITTY...

 Do you know I grew up with the Lovin Spoonful and I always thought the words were 'back of my neck getting burned and pretty'... Guess that is a Calif girl hearing what she wants to hear! Crazy huh?
Ok you get the point...its June and its summertime hot. Today is suppose to reach 109 which is uncomfortable if you are trying to live a life outside. The worse part of temps rising is that it stops cooling down at night and it makes a huge difference in comfort. Our new sunshades sure are helping keep the house cooler and the patio usable. We have had lots of wind lately..J says windiest year he can remember. Makes for constant blowing dust and sand when you didnt get rain all winter. Ok enough weather talk...I sound like I am from Minnesota or something.

We had a wonderful visit with Gugi and Eric and managed to do lots of talking, drinking, eating and relaxing. The weather was wonderful for eating dinner outside and enjoying desert pool life. Whenever I suggested we go somewhere they said they would rather float in the pool and relax. It didn't hurt that Timothy shared a dozen of his home brews with us and it takes time to fully savor them!

 

 J and I both worried they were bored but they were smiling when they left so guess it was fun.
We did go up the tram one day and picniced and I loved it up there. Nothing better than the scent of pine trees and clean air. Wish we had more time to get off the beaten path and really hike. Another time.

For Gugi's actual birthday we went to a local restaurant, Lavender, with twinkly lights under a canopy and delicious food. It may be my new favorite place ~ We had such a lovely evening with good friends and drove around with the top down singing on the way home!! Some things never change with Gugi and me...thank goodness!

Isn't she beautiful?! You too Eric!

I have made so many wonderful friends in my life but some seem to have expiration dates and don't make the long haul. I am so blessed this friendship has lasted for so long and continues to grow. Love you Gugi!

Friends for 40 years!

A glass of wine and my boyfriend.

I quit sewing with company here and didnt get back into it last week so now I have lost the mojo again. I am hoping it will change soon because I really need a few more pieces. I have also submitted an application to La Quinta Museum gallery. They are having a juried art show and are taking 25 locals' work and hanging it from Oct to Jan. It would be very cool to be chosen but I know for a fact there are lots of artists in the area. The director said she was 'exceedingly pleased to receive photos of my work' so that sounds hopeful.

J cleaned his desk out and found a letter written almost 26 yrs ago by his dad. Emil was telling us 'he sincerely approved of his newest grandson and couldn't wait to show the girls at the bank". That would have been Timothy and the entire letter had such a sweetness to it. He had just picked his first tomato for his sandwich and it weighed in at 10 ozs. The simplicity of his life 26 years ago being retired in a small farming town in MN...I found myself tearing up wishing I had paid more attention to him, been kinder, visited more...I found myself wishing I could have one more conversation with him.
Lately I have been feeling sad about our relationship with our boys. You spend every minute of your day raising them and trying to do the best job you can. When they become adults you actually hope you will be friends and choose to do fun things together. This past year our boys have been going in so many different directions and all trying to find their ways. I have to check my computer or phone for a tweet, or text or email to even know anything about them. Our phone calls are infrequent have become a bit uncomfortable with the long pauses and me trying to fill the silences. Instead of becoming friends it seems we are merely people they feel obligated to. I decided today to just stop checking and let them be. Maybe this detachment is our future but we surely cant expect our sons to make us happy or we are setting ourselves up to be sad.  Its just disappointing when life doesnt turn out as we hoped. I have even tried to win them over being nice to the women in their lives. Pretty sure neither thinks of me as their friend~ just their man's mom. I think our boys are all good young men. I just wanted our lives to intertwine as friends.  I wonder if someday they will wish for one more conversation as well.

I hear from my friends in MN that it wont stop raining and they had the worse winter ever. Maybe its a blessing that we wont be returning this summer even tho it still feels a bit sad. Its only June but I do remember having a summer or two when we lived there that the sun merely visited occasionally. Four seasons are wonderful if you actually get them all! I seem to be addicted to weather talk today and I apologize. Sing with me... Hot Town, Summer in the City....
Last update is all three boys have recently relocated and each time I remember just how much I dont want to move again! Timothy stayed in Carlsbad but into a bigger house and we went over to help. Ky moved from Moscow ID to Phoenix AZ hoping to begin again someplace with options. Rande put everything he owns into storage in Denver. He has gone on tour and has no idea where he will call home. We wish them all happiness and success wherever they end up.
Thanks for dropping by.