I have not been creative for over 10 months now and I quickly set up my art studio (I just deleted sewing room because it sounds less professional) so I could get busy. Did I? Nope. I had my computer in there at first and we all know that leads no where. So I removed it and after talking to my bf I started making something...a pillow. So then I realized there is a roadblock stopping me from jumping in and being amazing. I am pure and simple not sure I want to. I mentioned this to Timothy and he actually seemed to be angry at me. So then I agreed he was right I have this amazing opportunity to be an artist and I need to take it.
The thing is in order to participate I will need to make at least 5 trips to Seattle(not free) and rent a car each time and possibly need a hotel as well. Then there is eating and of course buying wine while I am there to show appreciation to the Isenhowers. There is also the problem of getting at least 12 pieces on an airplane possibly with frames. What if absolutely no one buys a piece and its definitely a possibility then all of this personal expense is simply to have fed my ego. To be taken seriously...how great will I feel coming home with my work and all the above expenses? I just don't know if I want to risk taking the chance. Maybe if I release myself from the mental stress of worrying about it I can begin again. I wake up at the most ungodly hours designing in my head and then poof...nothing.
If you are reading this feel free to give me some feedback or support for pulling out. If anything I lack ego and don't need to do this show if its not fun and exciting to me. Thanks for listening~
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| Because I always post photos here is the pillow! Its a baby gift for a buccaneer about to arrive~ lol |
I don't know what to say. I totally know what you mean. I always talk myself out of things, especially when too much $ comes into play. I don't necessarily feel bad later, but NOT doing things doesn't get you any further in life. It's a crossroads where you have to make a decision. If you decide not to, don't let it get you down. It would've made more sense if you were going to be around the Northwest.
ReplyDeleteThis is why you are my bf because that is exactly how I feel. If I still lived in WA it would be so much easier and I could pop over whenever. I had basically a stranger last night tell me I am negative, whiny and just complaining about life. (Note to self~ dont sit by strangers!) I just know I will be crushed if I spend the $$ to do this and nothing sells. Am I being realistic or pessimistic? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteCher,
ReplyDeleteI am also the exact same way.. You start thinking you don't want to do something because you're scared, insecure, lazy or whatever. But when the real stuff kicks in like $$, logistics and all, you really have to weigh if it's the lazy, scared thing or if really truly it's just too much. Go with your gut. I bet if you let yourself off the hook you will take a wonderful sigh of relief and your creative streak will kick in 110%. Find a place close by where you can show your work off. Love where you are, you've been running around like a crazy person for months and months....give yourself a much deserved rest.
love you!!
Janet
ps
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE AN ARTIST!!!