I have several people in my life right now making or considering making big changes for their partners. I am wondering how do you know if you compromise your dream for your partner's dream if you are setting yourself up for failure? I just had a friend tell her man she had given up everything for him and there was a lot of resentment in her rant. How do you keep from feeling this way if you make a significant change to please someone else? It seems if you don't make the move you are selfish and care more about yourself than your person. That doesn't make for a healthy relationship for sure. However if you do it for your person, will you end up feeling like my friend? Life as a couple is nothing but compromises yet I wonder when is the compromise too much to ask? When does it jeopardize the foundation of your love? Do you keep searching until the change is a compromise as well instead of what one or the other wants? I guess we all have some vision of what will make us happy and sometimes its just being with that person regardless of the cost.
'Every road one travels forces you to choose.'
Interesting thoughts cuz. I think in my situation I would be able to go anywhere do anything to be with Neal while he pursues his career. I just want to have a nice life with him and anywhere that is works for me. If, I were a career person myself and very invested in it then of course that might be different and resentment by either party that was not being fulfilled would creep in.
ReplyDeleteFor you guys, it's a completely different story. You are both retired and looking for a way to enjoy your golden years together. If you can't agree on something then there is going to have to be compromise. The cool thing is is that you can compromise together. You can both get what you want in a mutual compromise. If you both live to please each other then it will all work out.
Good luck with that......(all easy for me to say)
xoxo
You know my story - my whole life was one big compromise for the sake of my relationship. Then when that didn't hold enough water, what was all of my sacrifice for? Now that I'm thinking only for myself, my life is really great and I'm really moving forward in the world too. At the same time, I couldn't have done it alone (you & Far, Greg, etc, all helped me recover and get on my feet so that I could return and live this way)
ReplyDeleteCan I ask, what is the picture of and why did you choose it to represent these feelings?
ReplyDeleteThanks guys for the feedback...its always so great to hear what you think.
ReplyDeleteThe shack was just a play on finding ones dream home which might not be your person's dream come true!
Ahh Cheryl...I wish this decision was not so difficult for you guys. I am glad you are able to stay another week on darling, and with a boat. For some reason, I have a feeling you will come to some nice decision together floating on the water. It's amazing what water can do. It's very interesting to try and maintain independence, but also mesh with someone else. Of course my situation is totally different, but I think I can relate. I am slowly redoing all of Will's/our house to my liking. I gave up my place that was what I wanted for our relationship and our life, so I guess without really realizing I am doing it, I've taken over the house to get back some of my identity here. I know you'll find it the way you need to find it wherever you are. You two are great and solid, wonderful people. Keep us posted. I know you'll do the right thing, and I am excited for you to make a decision and enjoy the next step.
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